When I was a little girl, I used to stand at the door and sob until I couldn't breathe when my sister would go back home. She is 15 years
older than me, so her visits were so special and precious to me and I couldn't bear to watch her leave. I looked forward to her coming for
weeks, soaked up every minute of her that I could have, and as she left I would crane my neck until the last speck of her car was out of
sight.
Recently, I have discovered something new from an old part of me- it's the idea that love stands at the door and sobs.
I haven't really cried hard when anyone drives away from my house as a "grown up," quite so much. In fact, hardly ever. But recently I
did. And that sadness that fills me, that makes me stick out my bottom lip in an attempt-to-not-cry pout, it's really lonely. But it's
lonely in a way that I have never understood before- it is beautiful. When I was a little girl, I distinctly remember thinking, "why is she
leaving? It's so much better when she is here. She should be with me, it makes more sense." And today I felt that feeling all over again.
So I cried. Quietly. Sad. Lonely. But so full of love.
I'm crying right now as I write this because I just can't believe how incredible it is that we are given the opportunity to love other people
that much. I'm crying right now because I'm thinking about how God sees us, his precious ones, his children. And I sometimes wonder,
do you think that God stands at the door crying when we leave him ? Do you think he wonders, "why is she leaving? It's so much better
when she is here. She should be with me. It makes more sense." Because he loves us so much? Love stands at the door and sobs.
Love lets you go, but watches you until you are out of sight.
I've said it a million times, I will say it again; one of my favorite things about God is how he uses our earthly experiences to understand
him more. Especially our experiences with the ones that we love. Because I understand the kind of love that pulls you to your knees a little
bit, in quiet sadness, but louder in love. I can't handle how beautiful that is.
older than me, so her visits were so special and precious to me and I couldn't bear to watch her leave. I looked forward to her coming for
weeks, soaked up every minute of her that I could have, and as she left I would crane my neck until the last speck of her car was out of
sight.
Recently, I have discovered something new from an old part of me- it's the idea that love stands at the door and sobs.
I haven't really cried hard when anyone drives away from my house as a "grown up," quite so much. In fact, hardly ever. But recently I
did. And that sadness that fills me, that makes me stick out my bottom lip in an attempt-to-not-cry pout, it's really lonely. But it's
lonely in a way that I have never understood before- it is beautiful. When I was a little girl, I distinctly remember thinking, "why is she
leaving? It's so much better when she is here. She should be with me, it makes more sense." And today I felt that feeling all over again.
So I cried. Quietly. Sad. Lonely. But so full of love.
I'm crying right now as I write this because I just can't believe how incredible it is that we are given the opportunity to love other people
that much. I'm crying right now because I'm thinking about how God sees us, his precious ones, his children. And I sometimes wonder,
do you think that God stands at the door crying when we leave him ? Do you think he wonders, "why is she leaving? It's so much better
when she is here. She should be with me. It makes more sense." Because he loves us so much? Love stands at the door and sobs.
Love lets you go, but watches you until you are out of sight.
I've said it a million times, I will say it again; one of my favorite things about God is how he uses our earthly experiences to understand
him more. Especially our experiences with the ones that we love. Because I understand the kind of love that pulls you to your knees a little
bit, in quiet sadness, but louder in love. I can't handle how beautiful that is.