I awoke,
convicted. Feeling the weight of myself. I arose, in darkness. Aware of my failures. I walked, burdened. Ashamed of my pain. But the light comes, and it fills the dark places. It's easier to let a strong wall fall than to stand behind it alone and attempt to hold it up singlehandedly. But it will not fall, He whispers to me. It won't. this photo that my talented brother took ^^^
art from friends tuesdays with ariel (not morrie) borrowed coffee tables belated and beautiful birthday gifts my roomie and her sleeping patterns coral and her wisdom invitations cookies, cookies galore zach & aaron & isaac & nik & paul compelling films shared dark chocolate writing letters amy's "heart" art late nights abby & alyse & annie piles of books a warm fireplace monday nights at 7:00 identity found in the Creator There is a blog I follow, called Rough Draft Farmstead. I'm just gonna be honest- I think these two are the bomb.com. They write about living on their farm, in a small cabin, uncharted and free. I read their posts and come a little bit more alive each time. So check them out.
I was just reading through some of their more recent posts and came across this entry, called Simple. <--click it, read it, love it. Current: the library,
warmed in the winter sun not searching quiet When I am distracted by something, I look for it. I look for it like it is my job, and I will not cease until I find it. That's a little insight into my mind for you. So, the past couple of days, that is what my mind has been doing. I have been everywhere and nowhere, constantly seeking something that wasn't anywhere. I physically got up to look around for this distraction, seeking but never finding, desiring but never attaining. And so, I sat down, and came to a beautiful and humbling realization. It is the concept that, through this denial of things that I desire, I am being protected. Because I know that if I really got everything I wanted out of life, if everything that caught my eye was granted to me, I would be the biggest mess the world has ever seen. Because those things that I want- well friends, they just aren't what I need. I've learned the nature of my protection through watching others desire things with their whole hearts and receive them, and then I watch them be destroyed by the very thing they thought would bring them life. It's a heartbreaking reality, but one that seems to be redundant in everyone's life. But here's the cool thing: God is constantly just pointing us back to him. He's not breaking us, or throwing us to the ground. But when we do get broken, or shoved down, he's there to pick us up. He's waiting to pick us up, and uses the pain of the things we thought we wanted to show us that he is all that we need. Imagine, if I sought Jesus the same way that I seek the things that pull me away from him. If I sought him with the same drive, the same determination, and with the same hope. Let me tell you, it would be infinitely more beautiful, and eternally more worth it. I'm passionate about veterans, and what they have done, and the stories they hold. I will be buying this book ASAP. Lately, I've been learning a lot through the people around me. Through the things they say to me, or the way that they react to their surroundings. Mostly, I just am thankful for 'em. I look around myself when I'm in a big circle and think- holy cow- I got lucky. But here's the coolest part- I didn't get lucky. It's not a matter of luck, you see. It's about Jesus. And how he knows exactly who I need and the exact time I need them. How he orchestrates these incredibly beautiful thing called relationships, and speaks to me through those around me. Like this banana. ⤵ I know what you're thinking- Holland, what's with the picture of the banana? Great, I'm glad you asked. The other day was not my favorite day. I think I might have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, felt pretty crabby, and basically had just been off all day. And that afternoon, my lovely friend Devyn came to my door with this lil' nanner. She said, "I brought you this. And thought you should listen to this band." I said, "Bananas are my favorite food!" And she nodded, explaining to me that she thought it would cheer me up. So you know what I did? I opened my computer and put on The Dust of Men, and ate my banana. And I sat there, feeling loved, after a day where I really hadn't. All because Devyn remembered. So I'm just thinking about that, and being thankful. Here's some music that I think you should listen to, because it's great. May you be renewed as I was. thanks snow, for looking beautiful this morning
thanks haley&kaylin, for always loving me thanks coffee table, for seriously making me SO happy thanks Alexi, for paying for my "birthday" meal thanks Isaac, for the music that you create thanks Valentines day, for the cute decorations thanks Devyn, for knowing without me telling thanks Justin, for your hilarious texts thanks bible study, for being the bomb diggity last night thanks Jesus, for giving me the people I need "Good morning!" said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass One of my favorite parts from this whole darn book. Have a "good morning," my friends.
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